On the 10th day, a meal is offered to the family. It is a hustle and bustle of saree-clad aunts chopping, stirring and diatribing on cooking techniques.

On cooking "besan"
The cake, that is, not the flour. You start with oil & ghee heating in a deep pan. Then add chopped onions, pureed onions & garlic, and ground aniseed and turmeric. Stir until well mixed and then slowly add boiled water.

Yes, adding water to hot oil will cause dangerous geysers in the pan.

Then slowly add the previously pureed dhal and salt, then chopped coriander leaves. Stir until your arm drops. The liquid will evaporate and the remaining paste can then be pressed into a shallow tray to be later sliced into lozenges and served as a side dish.

Food is only an excuse to be together as a family, to face the loss, and to grab on to some sort of normalcy.